Episode 46: From a Mess to a Message

The following program is sponsored by evangelical life

Ministries. Welcome to engaging truth, the manifestation of God's word and the lives of people around us. Join us each week. As we explore the impact of his message of spiritual renewal from the lesson of forgiveness forwards in the crucible of divorce, to the message of salvation, learn earned by an executioner from a condemned killer to the gift of freedom found in the rescue of victims of human trafficking. This is God's truth in action.

Welcome to another addition of engaging truth. I'm your host, pastor John Kane, sending you greetings from the, uh, believers in Nacodoches Texas today on the program. We have Denise Montena and Denise is a right to life author, public speaker. Uh, she's writing a script for a movie. She is a one active lady. Welcome to the program. Denise,

Thank you so much for having,

So tell us, uh, tell our listeners a little bit about yourself.

Yes, well, I think my story's very typical for a lot of, uh, women, uh, in this generation, uh, that in a nutshell, to give you a brief version, I was, um, you know, and some of the things I share, you know, people may have never heard before, but, uh, you know, I'm using my testimony as, as a, as an instrument, uh, to expose a lot of darkness in the world right now, uh, tragically, I was raped at the age of 13. I was having a sleepover at a girlfriend's house. And in the night, her a older brother raped me. My virginity was stolen. I never gave it away, but I never told anyone about the rape. I, I kept quiet, but I felt like a piece of garbage. And I thought, no, nice guy I'll ever wanna marry me now, cuz I'm not a Virgin.

And um, I ended up starting experiment with the smoking cigarettes and started drinking a little bit and had my first crush at the age of 16 and, um, was intimate with this. Uh, you know, my first love what I would call my first love. And uh, we were going out there for several months and going together for several months and um, and then suddenly he decided to break off with me cuz he wanted to go out with someone else. And I was, you know, my heart was crushed cuz I thought he loved me. And you know, we were, we were in a, you know, I thought a good relationship, but I was only 16. He was a bit older. And uh, uh, anyway, we broke up and long story short, I went to Switzerland. My mother sent me over there to stay with my, uh, my family there who had a restaurant.

And I was working for my aunt who happened to be about seven, eight months pregnant when I got there. And uh, next thing you know, I'm having I'm, I'm like vomiting in the morning. I'm not feeling well. And she's like, uh, Denise, you better go get a checkup. I went to the doctor and he told me I was pregnant. So here I am 16 years old, pregnant in a foreign country, I could hardly speak the language. And um, you know, I was, I was shocked, but I thought to myself, you know what, I can do this. And I actually started to steal baby clothes from my aunt who was getting so many little outfits and bonnets and uh, booties and all this. And I thought, oh, she won't notice this little outfit missing or that little outfit missing. And I was making a stash. And then one day I was driving my grandfather's Moit, which is like a motorcycle.

And I came around a corner and I hit a van, had no helmet or anything crash to the ground in the back of my mind, I was thinking, oh, maybe I'll have a miscarriage, but that never happened. I called my mother back in Canada here and I, uh, you know, I'm crying. I'm like, mom, I just wrecked the motorcycle. Grandpa's moped, you know? And I, so she took the next flight and my mother was there the next day. So I was thinking, should I tell her I'm pregnant? Shouldn't I tell her, you know, anyway, I told my mom that I was pregnant at 16 and she, she put her arms around me and she said, Denise, honey, you're only 16. You have your whole life ahead of you. She said, why don't you just come with me back to Canada and you can have this operation and just forget about it and get on with your life.

So I thought, oh, I can get UN pregnant. It's okay with the doctors. It's okay with government. It's okay with my mother. So ignorantly, I thought it must be okay. And I went and I had that first abortion. And the thing is, pastor John, most women are pressured into having their abortions. They don't really want one, but they're pressured into it by other people. And you, the second time I got pregnant, uh, was about 10 years later. So I'm now 26 years old. And in a relationship with a young man, I was obviously not a Christian at that time. And uh, we were in a relationship and I got pregnant the second time. And when I got pregnant, uh, you know, when the doctor told me that I was pregnant, uh, I asked him, I said, you know, how far along do you think I am?

And we figured out probably I was about eight, nine weeks pregnant. At that time. I said, what's there, what's developed. And he took a pen and a piece of paper and he put a little dot on the page. And he said, oh, it's nothing. It's just a competi. Well, later I, I found out that he totally lied to me that at eight, nine weeks, I was shocked as see, you know, years later, what was actually developed. And um, and then when I, when I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant, he went in a fit of rage and he started yelling at me. You better have an abortion. I never wanna see you again. How can I do this to him? And he went on and on and I was devastated. And so the second pregnancy I, uh, and of course the doctor just said, oh, just, you know, you can just make an appointment and it's quick, easy.

But the second abortion was done in Buffalo, New York, abortion wide awake. And it was devastating. Um, I, you know, I will never forget that trauma of having an abortion in a clinic wide awake, I was the most excruciating pain you can't even imagine. Um, I was be him to stop cuz I changed my mind. I wanted to get out of there. And he said, no, no, we can't stop now. And the pain was excruciating. I was crying, screaming, trying to get away. Um, and actually pastor John, it felt like I was being raped again. That's how abortion feels. And after that, I curled up into a fetal position and I felt like my brain had snapped and I couldn't even talk. And um, I was like in slow motion. I think I went into kind of shock. And uh, the nurse was like, hurry up.

You know, there's other people waiting, you have to get going. You can't lay here all day. Or, you know, there was like, no compassion. And I got out of there and I thought, I just kind of felt like, um, I would never be the same. And um, I ended up getting many complications from so-called safe and legal abortion. And I know I'm representing millions of women, um, who have never spoken about it or, or don't go public and talk about it because it's the deep, dark secret you don't want anyone to know about. And, and um, I ended up going into a deep depression. I didn't care about myself. I just wanted to die. I self isolated. I was drinking and drinking and taking lots of drugs. And um, I went into a deep, deep head of despair. And then I ended up going out one night with a girlfriend, had a one night stand, met a guy, had a one night stand, got pregnant a third time.

And the third time, the shame of the not knowing his last name, uh, was enough for me to go and have ignorantly a third abortion and many women actually about 50% or more of women who have one abortion will have multiple abortions because we're not dealing with what an really is and what it's doing to our children. And just being ignorant of the truth of fetal development because they lie to women to pregnant women. Like, you know, I was told, oh, it's just a competition. And um, and so, you know, I thought, you know, it's nothing. But then when I found out the truth of fetal development, I was just amazed because when you realize the truth, how God created us in our mother's womb, where we were fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 1 39, that from the moment of conception, all the DNA is there.

If it's a boy, a girl, you know, all the knowledge on how this newly little conceived person is gonna grow beautiful eyes, to see ears, to hear a mouth, to speak a brain, arms, legs, fingers, toes, every vital organ. All of that knowledge is there from the moment of conception and how, how we are knit together. It is such a miracle on how we are created in our mother's womb. And, um, and it is not a potent human being. It is a human being with potential and the word fetus is a Latin word. That means the little one. And, um, you know, they say, oh, well, you know, it's a woman's body and you can do what you want with your, with her body. But the, but the truth is when a woman gets pregnant, there's another little body inside her body, right? It is not just a, it is a human being with potential to find a cure for cancer, to whatever, you know, God has given every human being a purpose. And, um, you know, and, oh, well, it's my choice. Well, the choice to have your baby killed before birth should be unthinkable, not a form of birth control.

So Denise, you, um, you became a Christian and you're carrying this message. You are, um, a voice of faith, a voice of forgiveness, a voice of new life. And, um, tell us some of the countries that you now go to.

Well, my favorite song is amazing. Grace, you know how God would forgive a rich, like I was like, it is, it is incredible. And, uh, when I surrendered my life to the Lord, 34 years ago at the age of 30, you know, I quit smoking, drinking drugs. He totally changed my life. And then he, I just knew that I knew that God wanted me to be a voice for my children who had no voice. And he gave me, you know, through the power of the holy spirit, I got the courage and boldness to speak publicly. And I don't care what people think of me. I care what God thinks, cuz it's a way bigger peach way, bigger picture. And then he began to send me like to Africa, China, uh, Russia, I've been to Russia twice, the Phil Philippines, uh, India and all over Europe.

We try to push it down. We try to forget about it, but it can affect your sex life cuz abortions connected with sex. It can affect your parenting, this child alive, that one isn't, you can't change it. Um, depression is huge and women who have an abortion are six times more likely to attempt or commit suicide along with of course alcohol and drug abuse is huge because you try to kill the pain. And I know women personally, I know three women who committed suicide after their abortions and I myself had cervical uterine damage. I fought depression for years, alcohol and drug abuse. So, you know, I know what I'm talking about. I've been there, done that. And I believe that it is critical that young people and especially the public, all the truth about legal abortion, that it is not a safe procedure, that it causes many women, uh, physical and mental health problems in the aftermath. And that these are, are children. These are children created in the image of God. They are not blobs of tissue. Every single one of us began in our mother's womb. And to me, you know, there's something schizophrenic when at one end of the hospital, they're doing everything to save sick, premature babies and down the hallway, they're killing healthy children. There's something wrong here. It is the greatest human rights vile of all time in all of history is, is the enactment, the practice of abortion, the shedding of innocent blood on women.

So Denise you've had, um, a lot of painful history. You've also come to know the forgiveness that is hours through Jesus. So what would you say, uh, as we're, uh, as we broadcast this program a short time after mother's day, what would you say to, um, uh, a woman who has gone through this and is crushed, crushed emotionally and crushed by guilt?

Yes. I would say, first of all, you need to humble yourself, realize and accept that abortion took the life of your child or your children. If you've had multiple abortions, ask God to forgive you. And the good news is that God does forgive us. The hard part is forgiving ourselves because we know Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins, including abortion, but then you have to forgive yourself and that takes time. But you just, by faith, you have to say, I forgive myself and then turn it around for good. God wants to take what sat meant for evil and turn it around for good. Not everyone is gonna be vocal and speak out publicly like I do, but there's other things you can be prayer support, work in a pregnancy crisis center, uh, you know, um, you know, be an advocate kit for children in life.

And I, I also believe, you know, God has called us to be the salt in light of the earth and that he wants us to take back our governments, take back our healthcare systems, take back the law courts and the schools because we need Christian leaders to be a voice, to stand up for truth, justice and righteousness in our culture, in our generation and in our world because Jesus said, if we lose our saltiness, we are no good, but to be trampled on by the foot of man. And I believe that this is a call to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and to rescue those who are being unjustly sentenced to death.

We'll come back to Denise in just a moment I'd like to, uh, tell our listeners where you can find this radio program on the internet. If you go to our webpage, uh, E L M houston.org, you'll find our, uh, webpage about us, about of pastor Schultz and myself and other, uh, radio hosts. We're all volunteers in this. And so if you'd like to, uh, support what we are doing by interviewing, uh, Christians and, uh, talking about their unique stories, how they are sharing the gospel of Jesus with the world, uh, we'd appreciate your support, uh, your, uh, dollars by us airtime, uh, so that we can broadcast. You can write us at M PO box 5 68, Cypress, Texas, 77 4 oh. Or you can go to that website, Elm houston.org. You can donate online. You can also jump from there to go to our Facebook page, our Twitter account out or over to, uh, YouTube. You can connect with us in that way. Coming back to Denise, Denise, you have, um, a website as well.

Yes. If anyone would like to connect with me or get involved in, uh, work at the United nations, uh, you can contact me my website, which is www.togetherforlifeforlife.nettogetherforlife.net. And I also have a Facebook page. Um, but the best way I think is just go to my website. I have lots of information and resources on there. I've written a book called the bride, the serpent and the seed, which pray for me because right now a producer, uh, is looking at making my story into a movie because this side of to get out there. So I really appreciate your prayer back up.

It's a wonderful thing when our Lord takes us and, um, helps us to see beyond our brokenness and our low points in life. And he lifts us up. It's one of the most amazing things to me, Denise, that, uh, we have not only forgiveness, but Jesus has elevated us above all creation and made us to be co-heirs with Christ Christ's brothers and sisters, if you will, uh, we are children of God for eternity and, um, how God can forgive and also empower us, restore us gift is, uh, just, is just mind boggling. So helping, helping women who've, um, had this difficult history see themselves in the way that God sees you as forgiven and loved is a very powerful and important message. And so we thank you Lord for Denise and your work, uh, with the UN and, and so many countries around the globe where you're up, you're doing this public speaking.

Thank you. And I, I, I know we probably don't have time for this, but I just want listeners to know that, um, when I was about 32 years old, the, my little Toronto apartment before I met my husband, uh, Jesus appeared to me with my three aborted children, as old as they would've been. I asked each one to forgive me each one, forgave me. And that's when I knew that I knew I had to be a voice for them. And then God blessed me with a wonderful son. Who's now 29 year years old. And the joy and blessing of being a mother there, there's nothing that can describe the, the gift of motherhood. I just wanna share that. Thank you.

Well, with faith in Christ, Jesus comes complete healing. And with Christ, there is life and there is, uh, life under of and forgiveness of God. And so we thank you that you have, uh, continued to share with so many people who are hurting the message of forgiveness and life. That is to be found with Christ Jesus, uh, Denise blessings on your work. And we will keep you in prayer that, uh, your message and your, your history is into a, a movie. Uh, we'll look forward to, uh, to that, and, uh, hope that people connect with you on your website as well. Um, one, give us that website once again.

Yes. It's www.togetherfororlife.nettogetherforlife.net.

Very good. God's blessings, Denise, join us again real soon for another edition of engaging truth. God's blessings.

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