Writing the Book ‘Mom, I’m a Girl’

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Ministries. Welcome to engaging truth, the manifestation of God's word and the lives of people around us. Join us each week. As we explore the impact of his message of spiritual renewal from the lesson of forgiveness forwards in the crucible of divorce, to the message of salvation, learn earned by an execution from a condemned killer to the gift of freedom found in the rescue of victims of human trafficking. This is God's truth in action.

Welcome to engaging truth. This is Dave Schultz, your host for this evening's program, we have a special guest on who we've had on before, but the compelling information to a story that she brings is one that has to be heard over and over and over again, because it, it helps us to understand that when we are walking with Christ, he doesn't walk away from us. We walk with him and he helps us through difficult and tragic times. But guess for this evening, it is Judy Glenn who has written a book called mom. I'm a girl. Welcome Judy.

Thank you so much for having me. I so appreciate your diligence in this ministry. And it's my privilege to be here with you,

Julie, would you explain, or would you give us a timeline of your son's life? A brief timeline from little to the time of the end

The question that I have, Julie, uh, Judy is simply, um, any thoughts on what brought him to the point of thinking that he was a girl? Any thoughts of your own?

Not really, as I said, there, everything up until that time indicated that he was happy. He was enjoying all the, the boy things. Uh, we did lots of things together. We skateboarded, we snowboarded, we played basketball. We did all sorts of these things. So when this came up up, I really didn't know what to think of it. I didn't know where to go. I, I had no idea even what it was, this was way back before this whole transgender. I I'll put it craze even started. So I didn't know what it was all about. Uh, I didn't know where it was coming from. So I was totally in the dark. Totally. Uh, it was absolutely out of the blue where, where this was going, where it was coming from and where it was going,

But already from a little on you planted a life and the message of Jesus in his life. And so he knew this is a little boy didn't

He? Absolutely. He, he did. Um, uh, in fact, um, when I had a conversation with him later on, when he was going through this, I questioned, uh, him as to his salvation. And, and he, because he made a decision when he was about four or five with me. And, um, but I thought as a little boy, he might not have fully understood what he had actually done, what the decision was that he actually made at that point. So I kinda questioned him in that area. And he just looked at me straight faced and very sincere. And he said, mom, you don't think I remember what I did, but then let me assure you. I did. So I knew that that his eternal salvation was secure, even though he was at that point, living out of the will of God. I knew that God was in control. God had his hand on him. And, and for that, I am so thankful,

Isn't that the most difficult thing to have to face as a parent, you hear the child and you watch them as they give their confession of faith and their life turns into something else. Um, and I'm just glad that I'm not in charge that Jesus is still in this throne and that he's still in charge of the next moment that happens, uh, in both of our lives. Judy, why could you not concur with your son's desire to provide what he wanted even to the very end

On a couple levels? Uh, first of all, I knew this was not God's plan for his life. I knew that God created him a boy, uh, God created male and female. We don't have a choice in this God designs us in either of those two genders. So I knew that, that he was a born a male. Uh, and second of all, I knew that if he pursued this, uh, this journey, this path, it would only bring him to it. It would only cause disaster because cause living outside of God's will, can only bring you to that point to where it's, it's going to be devastating. So I couldn't go along with him on those two levels. Um, and it was very, very difficult and, and trying to walk that line between loving him as my son, but not condoning his actions was the hardest part for, for my husband and I.

One of the things that seems to be overriding is the simple fact that, that he had that confession of faith. He made that confession of faith to you. And yet at the same time, he was well walking away. Uh, it's hard for a mom to see that it's hard for a dad to see that, but, um, how would you leverage or how could you, or how did you leverage his wanting to get from you what he needed or he would take his life? How did you deal with that?

Oh, that was the most difficult. But again, I always went back to, to the strength that God had given us that, that he is going to work this out. I knew God loved my son as much more than I did. So he wanted the best for, for our son, but yet, uh, going through all of this, it was very difficult for us to watch the, the pain that, that he was going through, the difficulty that he was the struggles that he was going through in this whole identity crisis. And so we tried as best we could to give him that love, uh, as our, as our son and said, we, we will always love you no matter what you do, God will always love you, no matter what you do, but we can't go along with what you are doing because we know it is not right for you.

It is not right for the plan that God has for you. So when he, we realized that this, uh, this leverage, as you mentioned, uh, about taking his life, we had to leave it totally up to God and say, God, whatever you have planned for our son, we have to go along with, we know that you have the best for him and you will give us the strength to go through that. So even though he had said that, I knew that even if that happened, the worst thing that that would happen was he would take his life. I knew where he was going. And, and truly that was the hope that, that we cl that we clung to that. Even if it would happen, we knew where he was going.

As you saw him develop over the years from 12 till when he took his life, could you see pain in his life? Could you see anger? Could you see, um, a son that was just not pleased or did that seem to escape him?

Oh yes. There, there were times that I don't think he really understood what he was struggling with, but I did see the pain at he, he tried as best he could to, to be what he thought he wanted to be. But, uh, there was a struggle, there was this dichotomy of identity. He said, I, I, I, in my body, I know this, but in my head, I'm this. And the struggle be between the two, which is very common in, in transgender is trying to reconcile those two. And it is a struggle. There is no question. Uh, and I did see, uh, some of the pain and at one time, it, it, I, I saw it come out. He was so frustrated with what he was going on, uh, his mind and, and the dichotomy of this identity,

The levels of pain in your own life must probably have changed dramatically as well. I can almost see. Um, but can't describe, unless you can, um, at the end of the journey, when you knew that he was going to do what he was going to do and did it, what were your emotions at that particular time?

Well, I didn't really see, or I, I think that, that I didn't want to see how this was coming so quickly. Um, so the actual time that it happened, I wasn't even home when this happened. And, uh, my husband was with him the, the last time that, that he saw him and he seemed to be, uh, coming at peace with himself, which was, um, which was very common to people that, that eventually take their lives. So I wasn't there, but, but Gary, Gary told me when I came home from my weekend away that yeah, I, they hugged and they gave one last kiss. And, um, and that was how it came down on that particular day. And after that is, is when the pain suddenly hit. And there is no words to describe the pain that goes through when you lose a, a, a, a child in this fashion.

Um, I've just got so many thoughts here and so many questions, the level of pain at that particular time till today, explain how you as a Christian mother and wife and leader, how you look back upon that. And what are your emotions about that today?

Hmm between that time and now is, um, it's like, uh, um, um, uh, like a, like fireworks, the firework goes in this blast of light and it's almost blending, but then as it starts to fade, the colors become more subtle. They blend together. And that's kind of what is happening is that that bright flash was searing in my soul, in my heart. But as God has worked through that, he blends that, that flash into colors that say, I'm here for you. And the, and the, the relationship that he has brought me into with him is so much deeper, so much more real that I can only can out Romans 8, 28, as all things are working to good, all things, even this, I know he took my son and I know that wasn't his ultimate plan. He probably had some wonderful things planned for my son, but he allowed him to do this. And he said, I am even gonna take this for my good. So as the years go by, I have learned to trust God that he is using even this experience for his honor and for his glory and for my deeper relationship with him, which is absolutely the most beautiful picture that has come in with all the blendings of these fireworks colors as it were.

That's a beautiful description of present day emotions. That's let me just pause here for a minute and talk to the listening audience for just a moment. Um, let me tell you that, that engaging crews is just a program that we every week, uh, it's the sister of our mother company, evangelical life ministries. And what we've been doing for 12 years is just the same every week. We find guests across the country, people who know the Lord Jesus Christ, and are able to articulate in the best possible way, how that message and their work and their thinking, um, continues to grow. So I'm asking you in the listening audience, please take a moment to remember us in your prayer, E L M evangelical life ministry, or engaging truth, the program. And if you'd like to support us, we encourage you to do so. Every nickel, every dime, every penny goes right into the message of broadcasting. So you can send that information to Elm P or box 5 68, Cypress Texas 7 7 4 0, or you can click into the website of E L M houston.org. And you can get all the information and support us from there as well back to you, Judy.

I think the, the most, um, vivid one is the freedom from guilt. When you have a suicide, it it's, and I don't mean to diminish any other kind of death, but with a suicide, there comes with this, this side of those involved that there was something I could have done to prevent this. I should have been there. I should have seen the signs. I could have done something. So there is a lot of guilt that is, uh, played on the shoulders of, of family members, of friends and so forth. So the biggest one is the fact that God has released me from that guilt. He's freed me from saying there is nothing that you could have done. He did what he did. He had his own choice to, to make, and he did it. There was nothing that you could have done maybe in the past, but the past is done.

I can't go back and check the past. I can't go back and change what parenting I did, uh, what I did or didn't do as far as his upbringing. So that I think is the biggest freedom that God has given me the freedom from fear, the fear that I might do, something else that might be wrong. That affects somebody else. God is in control as you have. So aply said so many times I can't make choices for everybody else, but I can make choices for myself and the freedom from fear. I can choose not to be afraid. God said that he has not given us the freedom, uh, or, or the, the, he has not given us the spirit of fear, but the spirit is within us to overcome that. We know that we have the holy spirit in us to overcome anything. He, that is within us is stronger, is greater than anything in the world.

And that includes anything that, that people may say about what I did, how I did it, what they may do to me, anything like that, he is stronger. So the freedom from, from fear, the freedom from anger. Oh my goodness. Uh, there is, there was a lot of anger in the beginning, too. Uh, anger against the doctors that gave him the hormones, anger against those, that, that condoned everything that he did anger against. Those that said we were the run ones responsible. We were the ones that forced him into this. So there was anger in the beginning. God released me from that and gave me the freedom to forgive them and move on with my life and say, God, everything that you bring into my life is still under your control.

Oh, what a beautiful response to the question, but it got one more freedom. Judy mm-hmm um, how about the freedom to respond? How has Judy been able to respond to this in the freedom that God has given you as you've just described?

Oh, uh, well, one thing that comes into my mind is in the beginning, I had some resentment, uh, um, uh, uh, to those that were talking about their children and their grandchildren and so on and so forth. And now talk about the freedom to respond in a most positive way. I truly do have the response of, of loving with those who love. And that includes my friends who are always talking about their grandchildren and talking about their, their birthdays and so on and so forth. And I can respond and rejoice with them and be glad with them rather than feeling that that resentment or, or even that, that little bit of, of anger. So God truly has given me the freedom to, to, to respond in a most positive way.

I've got a few more things I need to ask you, but Judy, first of all, give me your website, give me, or give the audience a way of contact. Um, just in case there's someone who is walking through this very difficult moment that you've experienced in the past. So give this a website where people can reach you, or,

Uh, it's just judy.com that will give you to the website. Um, and all that com my email, uh, contact. My phone number is all on the website, Judy glenn.com. So you can contact me through that. Uh, my book, mom, I'm a girl is on that website. So you have access to that as well.

There's someone in the listening audience, somewhere in the world who will get this message. And they're saying, I need to contact Judy simply because the fact that her testimony her faith in, in the Lord, Jesus Christ, hasn't, hasn't taken a hit yet. It's wavered. It's come up and, and it's gone down. First

Thing I would say was pray, pray, pray, pray, stay on your knees and never give, uh, hope. I have talked with many, uh, people who have come out of this, uh, transgender lifestyle. And they said it was just God that impressed upon them to bring them out of it. Arguments aren't going to help. So stay away from arguments, but keep the conversations going, keep the lines of communication as best you can. There will be times of animosity. There will be times of anger, but know that that God loves you. God loves them, and God is working all this out and will use it, uh, for his good. And don't be afraid of the outcome of the, what if, and even if the outcome is as mine was, God can use that as he has in my life. So never give up. God is a God of reconciliation. He, there is always hope as long as they alive is still hope. So, continue to pray, continue to trust God, stay in the word, believe the promises that God has given you, that is going to be your style word. That is going to be the armor that you have to battle the enemy that is going on in front of you.

Julie, we've got a precious little time left. Is there something in all this conversation that we failed to bring up?

I think we've pretty much covered the waterfront. Um, but, uh, there are books out there now that are coming out. Uh, I will say that, uh, the books that I wrote mom, I'm a girl was brought about because there wasn't any. So, uh, I wrote it because that was the book that I needed and wasn't out there. So there are some now some, some, uh, literature, uh, get acquainted with what this is all about. Don't be ignorant as to what this, uh, transgender issue is. Be informed, know what you're dealing with. So, uh, don't put your head in the sand and say, it's not happening, or I can't do anything about, but be informed as to what it is. And, uh, let God use that information as well. Uh, but keep trusting. There's no substitute for prayer and reading. God's word, believing his promises.

Judy, I wanna

Say thank you. This has been a delightful conversation, hard, but delightful. Thank you for being our guest on engaging truth in would you come back and be with us again next Sunday night on engaging truths. Goodnight.

Thank you for listening to this broadcast of engaging truth. Be sure to join us each week at this time to help support our ministry, contact evangelical life ministries, post office Fox 5 68, Cypress Texas 7 7 400 0, or visit our website@elmhouston.org, or find us on Facebook at evangelical life ministries. You.